Below where I find cool streams of water
Wading down my face
And accidentally inhaled until the salt
Calcifies in my lungs
Preserving the state I'm in from the inside
Face value I take, as all others do, and run
Making assumptions that I've been doing well
Clear skin, done hair, and shiny teeth
While swallowing blades that tear
My heart and my stomach asunder
Tenderizing the callouses I left uncared for
Until the ever-still feelings paralyzed me,
Meat turned into paste that would take
One attentive hug or embrace of passion
Or perhaps just a hand on the shoulder
To vacate the cavities of mine,
Those hollow spaces claustrophobic yet
An inescapable home to every drop of
Blood sweat tears and urine and brain matter
Sloshing around like a punch bowl to the gut
Eddy currents tossing me around
And causing the worst vertigo, imbalanced and thrashing
My ears 'til they're blocked up and I can't
Hear the words to get it to stop.
Every "I love you" from other bags of meat
Just conveniently said on time for their own arrival
To the crime scene I've made of my mind

By the time I sat down,
Clouds covered my sky
Taking time, and stealing this book off my shelf,
Other than what I've taken from myself

Turning pages back and forth
To remind me of the worst
I could have ever been
Yet I wish it had had no end

Moments fleeting which felt like forever,
Hyperventilating, hoping for
Those fast gasping breaths
To blow those clouds to our death

See, the sun never went away,
I swear it's still there.
Trying to shine.
Just hiding behind my cloudy skies